I always wait for the fluorescent light to come on before walking into my bathroom. I realized why Saturday night – a black scorpion the size of my foot (size 10 1/2.)
My friends Christine and Tracy were visiting. Christine was already asleep and I was going to the bathroom to brush my teeth before going to bed. I stood outside while the light flickered. It came on and the nasty bastard was the first thing I saw as I stood in my bare feet outside the door. I announced to Tracy what I’d just seen and grabbed a National Geographic.
Amongst the chaos of the evening, all 70 kilograms of me had managed to collapse a small plastic chair and Tracy handed me one of the severed legs to kill the beast in my bathroom.
My first instinct was to grab my camera, but I did not want to lose sight of it, so I chose not to. Sorry.
I tossed the magazine over it and it didn’t like this. It’s pincers were snapping. Once it was fully covered by the 2005 National Geographic with the cover story about why we love caffeine, I beat down on it with the chair leg like Billy Bob Thornton putting an end to Dwight Yoakam’s life in Sling Blade.
After hearing plenty of crunching sounds, I lifted up the magazine to find a large dead scorpion and quickly washed him down the drain, which is where I think he came from.
I told my co-workers about this and they laughed like someone in the Midwest might laugh over a story of a squirrel in a bird feeder.
I have now chosen to use the filter over my drain.